Kellen and I decided keep our plans to go to fire island for the weekend. Our intention was to take the weekend and allow it to be exactly what we needed it to be. If we needed to cry, sleep, dance, eat, sunbath, be alone or be with friends we would. It turned out to be magical weekend where everything seemed to be working in our favor even when at first it didn't look that way.
We hung out with friends, we sunbathed, we ate amazing food, we cried and shared, we read your messages and hugged each other a lot.
We had the opportunity to visit with our friends Chris and Victor. They are a couple who have been where we are. Victor shared with me some powerful words from August Gold who speaks at the Sacred Center in New York. He told me the questions he learned to ask himself was, “why is this happening for me?”
Kellen and I later that day as we walked we asked each other, “why do you think this is happening for us?” We came up with many good reasons but ultimately we settled on knowing that we don’t know everything and that we simply choose to trust that whatever happens is always in our best interest.
Later in the afternoon I remembered a quote I heard from one of Wayne Dyer’s lectures. He was quoting one of his teachers and he said that his teacher, after being asked if he every get angry or upset he said “no because nothing ever goes wrong in my world”
I realized that the first few emails I sent out on Friday to my close friends and family said in the subject line, “bad news”. Later in the day I changed it to “sad news”. We both agree that we will not label this situation “bad or wrong” we will just look at it as a result. We have a goal, we haven’t achieved the desired result yet so we will simply continue with the faith that it is on it’s way. My friend Jo sent me a quote from Churchill that said, "success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. We have not lost our enthusiasm!
Saturday night we went to a beautiful party and we came across a friend of ours we hadn’t seen in over 6 months. He asked sincerely, “what has been going on in your life, fill me in”. I hesitated for a moment to bring up our news since we were at a party and I wasn’t sure if I was going to cry more or not but there was nothing I could talk about that would answer that question other than my most recent news. I told him we had been trying to get pregnant for the past two years and finally two months ago I conceived and yesterday we had to terminate. I went into a few more details than that but my final words were the ones that hit me with the biggest gift. I said, “These past two months were the happiest two months of my entire life. I got pregnant, I felt beautiful, happy, alive, thrilled, loved, loving, nervous, excited and in awe.” When those words came out of my mouth I got what a gift these past two months have been and I did not have to see it as a loss at all but a celebration. I did get pregnant and if it can happen once it can happen again.
Now our goal is to have the best summer ever! We are simply going to celebrate the life we have today. We will make plans to begin when my body feels ready and we feel the time is right. I have learned that things are not happening on my time but there really is the perfect time. We are going with the flow and we are sure we will know what to do next and when to do it.
Thank you again. Your love and support was deeply moving and an unforgettable reminder of the healing power of a loving community.
We had the opportunity to visit with our friends Chris and Victor. They are a couple who have been where we are. Victor shared with me some powerful words from August Gold who speaks at the Sacred Center in New York. He told me the questions he learned to ask himself was, “why is this happening for me?”
Kellen and I later that day as we walked we asked each other, “why do you think this is happening for us?” We came up with many good reasons but ultimately we settled on knowing that we don’t know everything and that we simply choose to trust that whatever happens is always in our best interest.
Later in the afternoon I remembered a quote I heard from one of Wayne Dyer’s lectures. He was quoting one of his teachers and he said that his teacher, after being asked if he every get angry or upset he said “no because nothing ever goes wrong in my world”
I realized that the first few emails I sent out on Friday to my close friends and family said in the subject line, “bad news”. Later in the day I changed it to “sad news”. We both agree that we will not label this situation “bad or wrong” we will just look at it as a result. We have a goal, we haven’t achieved the desired result yet so we will simply continue with the faith that it is on it’s way. My friend Jo sent me a quote from Churchill that said, "success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. We have not lost our enthusiasm!
Saturday night we went to a beautiful party and we came across a friend of ours we hadn’t seen in over 6 months. He asked sincerely, “what has been going on in your life, fill me in”. I hesitated for a moment to bring up our news since we were at a party and I wasn’t sure if I was going to cry more or not but there was nothing I could talk about that would answer that question other than my most recent news. I told him we had been trying to get pregnant for the past two years and finally two months ago I conceived and yesterday we had to terminate. I went into a few more details than that but my final words were the ones that hit me with the biggest gift. I said, “These past two months were the happiest two months of my entire life. I got pregnant, I felt beautiful, happy, alive, thrilled, loved, loving, nervous, excited and in awe.” When those words came out of my mouth I got what a gift these past two months have been and I did not have to see it as a loss at all but a celebration. I did get pregnant and if it can happen once it can happen again.
Now our goal is to have the best summer ever! We are simply going to celebrate the life we have today. We will make plans to begin when my body feels ready and we feel the time is right. I have learned that things are not happening on my time but there really is the perfect time. We are going with the flow and we are sure we will know what to do next and when to do it.
Thank you again. Your love and support was deeply moving and an unforgettable reminder of the healing power of a loving community.
With great appreciation,
Patricia and Kellen
